turns people into cowboys or samurais depending on which place you’re in
That explains why cowboy movies and samurai movies are so similar.
Cowboys are Alolan form Samurai
So in Japan it’s called Kirinomitake while in Texas it’s called either Texas Star (because after releasing spores it’s unfolded into a star shape) or the Devil’s Cigar because it starts out as a long oblong mushroom but then it unfolds with an ominous hissing noise and releases a big smoky black cloud of spores.
It only grows in these two places, and people did genetic testing and a bunch of math to determine that the two populations started diverging from each other nineteen million goddamn years ago, so it’s not possible for humanity to have moved it from one place to the other. They’re at the same latitude, but 11,000 fucking kilometers apart not to mention the goddamn ocean in the way.
“this is only another illustration of the unusual and unpredictable distribution of many species of the fungi. It would be difficult indeed to account for it, and we merely accept the facts as they are.”
So apparently it’s pretty common in the mycological world to find some bullshit that can’t be explained and would probably drive men mad to look at too closely, and just sort of shrug and move on with your day.
The species is also the only example of its genus.
Your daily reminder that anyone who devotes their life to studying fungi is not to be trifled with because their brain is full of things humanity was never supposed to notice.
Oh hey fun fact, apparently the sanctuary I do outreach at has these. I haven’t seen them, but the Travis Audubon Outreach Coordinator has photographed them and had them IDed. She was telling me about them a couple weeks ago and I was like WOW I NEED TO FIND ME SOME!!!
In exchange, I told her about the magical super butterfly-attractant Lantana that was off-trail. I swear like 30 species at once on that thing it was redonkulous.
If you’re in Austin, the Blair Woods Sanctuary is open to the public, dawn to dusk. It’s behind The Austin Wildlife Rescue’s intake center. There’s a pond, and two weeks ago it was STILL swarming with dragonflies! Nice little patch of wilderness with some walking trails and rare fungi I guess.
December 12, 2018
Update: Texans, Guess What?
They’re out right now and iNaturalist can tell you exactly where to find them [link]. They have been found within the past couple days in Austin, and within the past week-ish in Dallas-Fort Worth. Looks like this fungi come out in the cooler months between October and April, and they grow on the stumps and rotting roots of Cedar Elms.
If you look at where these have shown up on iNaturalist historically (if you follow the link, click on the filter button in the top right and get rid of my date filter), and you will see they have a very interesting distribution pattern…
It’s almost like, the spores are in the water or something 😂
This palm is called the Devil’s Penis. Shhhhh…I wasn’t the one who named it.
Jatun Sacha, Ecuador
What is it with plants and dongs????
Humans cut off their sexual organs as part of our mating rituals. This is a threat.
😂 you’re right!!
It gets better: they move.
Those roots are constantly growing and form like stilts, and over time the palms drift…
Some more titillating pics of Devil’s Penis:
Iriartea deltoidea – An important tree species of the Amazonian rainforest. Y’all are getting excited about the stilt roots these things form, you’ll notice they head down into the ground. The rot-resistant wood from this tree is useful, from flooring to boats. Parts of the plant are edible to humans, though reportedly not tasty.
The dicktree is back!!! I did not realize that the dongs were the stilt roots that let it move, and I also didn’t know:
“Parts of the plant are edible to humans, though reportedly not tasty.”
Which parts??? 😂 j/k
Going through all of my posts and finding A TON OF THEM HAVE BEEN FLAGGED AND WOULD HAVE BEEN DELETED IF I HADN’T CHECKEDso I feel obligated to reblog the dick tree which has not been flagged.
Leaf of a Candlestick Tree (Senna alata), magnified 3900x, viewed with a scanning electron microscope.
The leaf dried up a long time ago, and I’d been meaning to take a look at it. The leaves are superhydrophobic, meaning water beads up into a perfect ball and just rolls right off of them. This often happens when plants have nano-scale structures on the leaves which mess around with the surface tension of the water, and it creates a self-cleaning surface. This is more well known in the lotus. I’m guessing that’s what all those texturey bits in here are, despite how shriveled the leaf was! When they are more hydrated, they might look like tiny little fingers. You can also see the stoma despite this poor leaf being all dry and dead.
that mushroom time lapse post made me think about how the sex organs of some fungi look similar to penises and now my mind is blown. like??? why would human sex organs look similar to the sex organs of a mushroom please help
i was actually reading about this in a book the other day (the intro was talking about the penis-like structures of stinkhorns specifically). the answer is….its purely a coincidence.
for fungi, the goal of a mushroom is to spread their millions of children far and wide. they do this by running into a compatible fungus under the ground and ‘mating’ with them, meaning that they fuse a little and start building the initial fungus structure. when it’s finished, they just inflate the already-finished cells with water, which is why they can sprout up out of nowhere overnight and why they have the ‘inflating’ effect u see in those gifs (note: this doesn’t count for shelf mushrooms and other long-lasting mushroom structures, where the fungi just build a really hearty structure that they grow new layers on each year, but if we’re talking about Dick Fungi then we’re talking more about the ones that sprout from the ground and wilt in a few days/weeks). fun fact, this is what a stinkhorn mushroom looks like before it’s inflated:
nervous.jpg. to pick the above image apart a little, stinkhorns work by having a coat of sticky, smelly substance full of spores coating their very-nsfw-ish caps that attracts insects to carry it off into the sunset. in this pic, the outer layer is a protective covering that the mushroom breaks through, the brownish jelly stuff just inside that is the spore substance that coats the mushroom, the greenish layer forms the actual head of the mushroom, and the white layer forms the stalk. this is easier to see when u look at an inflated one (that in this case has a lot of the spore goop already eaten off):
this is an especially lewd patch with one inflated and two uninflated. its just very unfortunate lmao, like….really unfortunate in this case holy shit
anyway, the resulting structure- which spits spores that are the sexual result of the two fungi mating- is apparently just functional. if you want to spread your spores, you want to be high enough off the ground for the wind to carry them off or for bugs to see it or for water to hit it or w/e, so u gotta have a stalk to support the actual spore structure. from there, u just gotta have something to transmit the spores, wether it be by wind or water or w/e, and for whatever reason….they just Look Like That. like thats just…..a very unfortunately highly effective shape, i guess.
Lithops is a large genus in the Ice Plant Family (Aizoaceae), all native to southern Africa. These plants are often called “living stones”, and indeed they do blend right in with the pebbles in the places where they grow. But they put on an eye-popping show when they burst into bloom, as seen here with the maculate (speckled) form of Lithops salicola, which comes from near Hopetown in South Africa’s Northern Cape Province. This is very near to the center of the country.
These were my favorite plants when I was a kid despite never actually seeing one with my own eyes, and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a photo of one blossoming and they’re so beautiful
What about plants that look like vaginas? Got any of those?
surprisingly few! i think it’s because in the plant and fungi kingdoms, the goal in the case of a phallic structure is to get stuff out, whereas a yonic structure might be more geared towards keeping things in, which is only ideal for a plant if you have very special needs for it. you’ve got the parasitic plant Hydnora africana, for instance, which has a cage-structure flower that temporarily traps in beetles that come to pollinate it to increase the amount of pollen it can expose them to:
another is a personal fave of mine, the entire Nepenthes genus of asian pitcher plants, which are evolutionarily geared toward retaining digestive fluid to dissolve insects in for food. here’s a very popular and well known one in the collecting community for it’s unusual shape, Nepenthes aristolochioides: